


Like a god

by MaximEve



Series: The Smoke Room - Black Cat Route [1]
Category: The Smoke Room (Visual Novel)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 18:40:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30127143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaximEve/pseuds/MaximEve
Summary: Samuel Ayers majorly fucked up in the worst way possible, and now he's gotta weave himself back in his life in Echo while trying to shoulder this sin, as well as hide it from those who are better off not knowing. Except this one nasty little black cat comes along, bringing with him a dark cloud that Samuel can't escape. Or maybe he can? Maybe that cloud will help him, even? This must be what if feels like to deal with God, after all: unpredictability, uncertainty, and fear. Samuel can only pray that this cat isn't a monster too...In which I make up a new character that /I/ can write the route for to fill the void as I wait for more updates to the visual novel.
Relationships: Samuel Ayers/Original Male Character(s)
Series: The Smoke Room - Black Cat Route [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2217234
Kudos: 1





	Like a god

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: there is nothing yet worth tagging, but those warnings are there for a reason. If this is continued, there WILL be some bad shit down the line, so do keep that in mind.  
> Also do read the end notes for some clarity about this whole shebang that I'm pulling out of my ass.

“They can hardly control themselves. They’ll forget this in no time.”

I turn back to put on my best smile for Cliff, but he’s already gone. Seems like he’s a slippery fella, when he wants to be. Maybe he’ll remember that the next time some slob’s fist is trying to make intimate contact with his guts. He’s a doctor, after all. If he’s really a quick learner then there really shouldn’t be a problem, should there?... I grow more concerned just pondering it.

Meanwhile, the crowd is growing. Most of them are men, some of which I recognize; most which are strangers. There are, of course, plenty of women peeking from the windows, pretending to arrange their curtains. But among the crowd are two familiar figures- who I’d have the time to think about, but as I take two strides forward, something collides with my side. A small, warm thing. “Oof-!” they exhale, whoever they are. The impact makes me stumble slightly to my right, but considering how it felt, I’m more worried about them. True enough, as I whip my head around, I see a kid, or at least who I assume is one. A black cat. They’re about to fall over backwards on their rear, but through some surprisingly quick reflexes even for me, I grab hold of their shirt before they can. We lock eyes, and for a second the world stops. Even my own mind cringes at the sap dripping from the thought but… it has been a while since I saw eyes as pretty as those. Clear and of a weird blue hue speckled with yellow. Like a jewel. I quickly realize how my stunned silence is drawing out this awkward moment more than I want to as soon as the kid- right, a kid, and I need to get a grip- just as awkwardly breaks the silence. “Huh… thanks, buddy. Don’t think I need any more dust on me for today.”

I blink too slowly for my liking and finally pull the kid back on their feet, letting go of his shirt. “Right, yeah. It’s nothin’” I say, rubbing the back of my neck. “Uh, sorry about… crumplin’ the shirt, though.” The kid pats themselves on said shirt, straightening it out. They hum unimpressed. “Pfeh. This is nothing. I ruin it more on my own.” They look back up, and once again I can feel myself space out, just… staring at their eyes. The kid’s definitely got a unique feeling to them: besides the obvious, there’s also how they speak. If my empty brain had one word for it, I’d use ‘clean’. That’s just how it seems they talk, without so much as a recognizable accent. I’d even go as far as to wager that the way he talks is how words are actually supposed to be said, but I’m the last person who should make a judgement like that. But regardless, they’re definitely not native, or at least, they make a damn fine job at hiding it.

I once again am snapped out of a trance by the kid talking, but I don’t find myself liking what they say. “You’re… aren’t you that Sam guy?” I immediately frown at that. A normal reaction at such a statement for someone like me, so I’m thankful I don’t immediately fall into panic as I’m usually doing lately. “... Yeah. But I reckon you ain’t the sort who should know me from others, kid.” I half-expect my reaction to make said kid take a step back in every sense of the saying… but instead they laugh, cleanly, like it’s all staged, and I don’t know whether to feel mocked or to chuckle along. It just makes me feel damn confused. “Hah! That came out of nowhere. And just what makes you think I’m even a ‘kid’, huh?”

I give them a look with a raised brow, eyeing them up from head to toe. They take notice and look down. Do they seriously… not realize their appearance? “Ah, right. I was so busy today that I almost forgot I’m actually related to a gnome.” That earns them a chuckle from me, one I only barely manage to suppress into a snort that they clearly take notice of, even if I try to cover my muzzle. I can’t really understand if what I read in their eyes is amusement aimed at me… or just plain annoyance. It might even be both. The kid… who is apparently not a kid, just ends up shrugging with a sigh. “Oh well. Just know I’m a not-a-kid who’s got a name, and that name’s Eli. Don’t you go forget it now.” 

I put a hand on my hip. “You say that as if we’ll meet again.”

“What, you interested?” he smirks at me in a way that belies his somewhat innocent-looking face. Yeah, this ain’t a kid alright. Suddenly his eyes are much less appealing, what with all the nasty that made itself clear in them.

...are they?

“Either way, that’ll have to depend on you, big guy.” He walks forward, going past me, but not before raising a hand to pat my chest, a gesture that feels filled with way too much intimacy for my comfort in this situation. I turn around, following him with my gaze silently. He doesn’t leave immediately, instead stopping a few steps away from me to rummage in his pocket. He produces something. Something shiny. Something he flips upwards. Head and tail.

I feel the blood freezing in my body. It was one of the coins. One of my coins. And he had it. There, in his hand, twirling it like it was nothing, when it meant everything to me in the worst way possible. He- Eli, turns his face sideways, giving me a glance that once again I can’t fucking read. He sees the shock on my face, and he smirks, infuriating. He’s enjoying this. I feel my body pounding with blood, ready to just jump on him, right then and there. I don’t know what it is that keeps me grounded for those seconds, enough for me to hiss through my teeth. “How the fuck-!”

“Oi! Sam!” I hear that voice and I whip my head around, seeing William waving at me, accompanied by that fox I noticed earlier. The surprise of him seeing him overlaps with the… other kind, which I’m unconsciously grateful for. But one second later, I look back to where Eli is. Was. He’s not there anymore, and no matter how much I look around, I can’t find him. I hear William approaching me, and despite the immense panic that has set inside me, I manage to pull up a stoic face, like it comes natural to me. But I can’t stop thinking. Can’t stop feeling myself scream in my head that I’m fucked. I’m dead.

The events that transpire next feel like a blur after what had happened. I meet William along with Murdoch- his fox associate, the one with the camera. I’m tasked once again with being William’s eyes while I go on with my business. Then, not that long later, I found myself in the make-up room, with William, Murdoch, Dora and Cynthia… for some reason, Cliff is here as well. And then, there’s a gunshot outside. There’s chaos. The miners are protesting, and I see Jack’s face on the signs they hold. I feel like my heart’s been drumming away like a dying animal for far too long, and the sight I see outside just makes it speed up, making me feel as if I could just have a stroke at any moment. Maybe it would be better. But then Cynthia ruins my hopes of eternal peace.

“Then attend to one of them! We’re going to have somewhere to find for the rest.”

I look around, and the claustrophobic feeling of being stuck with frigthened, panicked people seeps in even more. No. I can’t stand being here. And my mind just doesn’t stop wandering back to… him. Eli. His existence feels like I had just met some devilish imp who’s tempting me just as much as he’s threatening me. A confusing feeling, if I’ve ever had one, and it’s driving me insane even more than my situation by itself. I need to find him, quickly. “Well, none of the ones present are what I’m lookin’ for regardless. Mine’s waitin’ somewhere else.”  
A panicked Cynthia is apparently one that doesn’t much care to scrutinize excuses, and she simply grumbles away as she goes back to nibbling on her fingernails. As I manage to step foot outside of the room, I surprise myself with how… unproblematic that exit was. I suppose that even I can sometimes take advantage of certain situations. It almost gives me relief…

Until I notice who’s standing at the doorway to the salon, and my heart finally slows down, if only to sink to my stomach. Eli stands there. A black cat heralding my doom. Almost all too apt. “You…” I manage to bring out of my mouth. He’s faster at reacting, smirking like before. “Hmm… guess I could’ve spared myself the walk up to here if you’re this keen on seeing me.”

I stomp towards him. It’s… uncharacteristic even for me. But right now, Eli- his presence is a lit match, and I’m a powder keg just waiting to be ignited. He’s close. I can stop him. I can…

“Hold it right there, big man,” he says, nonchalantly, unfazed, a flat paw raised to stop me like a stern mother, “I’m not here to get manhandled… even if I could allow it if it’s you.” And he smirks again, looking a little lower. I know he’s looking at my shirt, slightly unbuttoned, but I’m not in the mood for teasing. “The hell do you want from me…?” I hiss through my teeth. “And you even got the fuckin’ gall to get here… what, you tryin’ to blackmail me? Outta the miserable shit I barely manage to scrape?” It takes whatever common sense is surviving my anger to not immediately grab Eli’s throat, and snap it. I see it. Small. Fragile. I can already tell it fits in my hand. I’d just have to squeeze. Just have to…

“None of those.” Eli’s face is… dead. Like he doesn’t feel anything about any of this. But those eyes have light in them. A dark light, a dark glint. I find myself desperately clinging to them. Not like it’s not exactly what’s going on; after all, my life is on the line, and Eli’s the one with scissors. Still, I can’t help but widen my eyes at his response. “Wha…?” Eli shifts, peeking from behind me. Checking. He goes back to looking at me. “How about we go somewhere a little more, eh… private? I can hear the chattering from here. I know you wouldn’t want us to get interrupted.” He winks at me with another cheeky grin, and places a finger on his lips. “Your room free? How about you book me? Surely you can get a spot for me at the last minute? I swear I’m a quick one.”

I blink, dumbfounded. “Are you… takin’ me for some depraved piece of shit? I don’t fuck kids.” He frowns at that, much more intensely than I anticipate. “I’m not a fucking kid, if what I said earlier wasn’t clear. Fucking hell, you can just say no and be done with it. Regardless, let’s go to your room. You can understand we can’t talk about this in the open.” I blink again, not sure whether to believe him or not, only to then grunt as I begrudgingly accept that he’s right. Not here. “... Come with me.” I turn around on my heel, barely caring to look back for Eli, but the lighter steps I feel behind me overlapping with my own reassure me that he’s following me.

The sight of my room doesn’t comfort me like usual. I step towards my bed, and despite the urge to just flop onto it, bury my face in the pillow and scream into it for hours on end, I turn around to face Eli. I open my mouth to talk, but once again he’s faster than me.

“I’ll get straight to the point.” He rummages into his pockets, a grimm feeling of deja-vu washing over me, and just like last time, he pulls out that coin. But instead of playing with it, he shows it to me. I see faint red blotches on it. I can’t even react. He immediately hits me with the sentence I’ve been fearing to hear ever since I stepped out of that damned mine.

“You killed him, didn’t you?”

At that moment, I look at him. Again, I stare at his neck. It would be so easy. It would just be so easy… but then what? I hear him sigh. “Before you do anything stupid,” he says, “at least let me finish what I’m trying to say.”

I look at him, feeling whatever emotion I have leaving me. But his eyes… they look very much alive. Yet I still can’t read them. They’re so bright. Jewels. But I can’t see into them. I see everything and that everything blocks my vision. It’s like trying to look at a blurry dot in the horizon under the scorching sun, yet he’s right here, in front of me. 

“I know what really happened.” I feel everything inside me tense up. Hanging onto his every word. Trying to understand where this is going. How to react. What to do. It’s a moment that lasts an eternity.

Suddenly, I can read him. His expression softens and I see…I should know, but I’m still unsure. But it releases everything inside me, all of the tension evaporating as he gives me a little, knowing smile. A gentle smile, though. “He was going to get you first, didn’t he?”

I can only stand still, trying to process it. My voice is a pathetic, feeble croak. “How… how can you tell…?”

He closes his eyes, and he scratches his cheek, thinking. “A pickaxe to the head. Instant. Quick. Doesn’t leave much room to…” He opens his eyes again. He looks straight at me and his pupils are drilling into my body. “... Almost bash someone’s head in.” I instinctively raise my hand to feel the back of my head. I feel the place where Jack hit me. Two times. It still hurts dully. I glance back at Eli.

“From my guess? He tricks you into following him. For whatever reason. You’re there, in the mines, and he tries killing you. Again, for whatever reason. Don’t really care for that.” He brings the coin to his lips, just holding it there, in front of them, his eyes closed again. “Unlucky for him but lucky for you, you’re a wall of furry bricks. Either that or he was a real fucking sissy for a miner.He doesn’t kill you and you kill him first. Effectively, I might say. Good on you for having great aim.”

The way he comments on my near-death experience is making me feel hot lava in my throat. “I almost fuckin’ died,” is all i can manage for an answer, hoarse and almost a whisper. Eli’s ears twitch, however, so he definitely hears it.

“But you didn’t.” Matter-of-factly. “You’re here. I’m here. And I guess I got it right.” He tosses the coin at me, and I scramble to grab it. “Regardless, I’m satisfied… although I would’ve really liked to get serviced too while I was at it.” I don’t understand. Not a word he’s saying. “Satisfied...? With what?” He shrugs, as if all of this is normal. Just a game. A kid’s game. “Satisfied with knowing I got the events right. For the most part at least. And I don’t really want to keep adding to your stress,” he says, as he narrows his eyes, “you look like you’ve got enough for everyone in town.”

He makes for the exit, but this time, I’m the faster one. I step forward and I grab his wrist, pulling him back. Too harshly, maybe, for someone who wasn’t gonna rat me out… At least, that’s what I hope. He grunts, clearly feeling what it’s like to get someone like me to pull your arm. I’m not in the mindset to care. “Wait. I don’t... I don’t get it.” I’m desperate, looking at his face for answers. “You just… come here, tell me all that… and then you leave? Like it’s nothin’?” He has no reaction. He’s so still I doubt for a second if I’m not talking to a doll, but a doll wouldn’t go on to say what he says next. “‘Cause it is nothing. Nothing to me. Everything to you, maybe.” It’s just incomprehensible. Everything he says is a smack to the brain. I let go, realizing I was starting to grip harder from his grimace, muttering a quick “sorry” as I take a step back. I put a paw to my forehead, trying to just… understand. He stands there, rubbing his wrist. “So what… what was the point?” I just ask bluntly, giving up on thinking. He shrugs, innocently. He’s not a kid. But he acts like one. And yet he also acts like something worse.

A monster.

“For fun.”

I can’t stand it.

“This isn’t fun! My fuckin’ life’s on the line here!” I half-shout, my voice trembling. I grip the coin so tightly I feel my claws digging into my flesh. “How am I even to be sure that you’re not gonna rat me out the moment you step out of this room?”

“Why the fuck would I even do that?” He scoffs, amused. My anger is washed away by his complete and utter indifference. His distance to all this. “Like, what, am I going to get a prize if I snitch? Shit, if that’s how things worked around here, it’d be much better.” I don’t know what to feel anymore, so I just sit there, in silence. I don’t know what to do or how to react to this insane creature before me. Something clicks inside me and I think…

This is how a God must be like. Toying with us. Just like he pleases.

“I saw you that night, coming out of the Hip,” he continues, unfettered by my ever-growing confusion, “and I got curious. Saw you around. Might’ve gotten a feeling I knew who you were based on talk around town. Then you meet with that weird, twitchy fellow and you go into the mine all giddy. And I think to myself, this might be interesting to watch. But there’s nothing to watch. For hours. You didn’t come out for a good long while, and maybe then a normal guy would’ve just left, but I didn’t. Because that just made everything more curious, you know?” he places a finger on his chin, smiling in self-satisfaction. “And I guess it paid off, seeing you come out looking like that. That poor badger must’ve been worried sick.”

I think back to Nik. I wonder if Eli’s gaze on me, on us, was amongst the feelings of being watched that I kept feeling as I walked out. But he continues, merciless. “And then, I went home, got myself some light, and I checked it out. Saw the body and all that.” My stomach churns at the thought. At how vulnerable my position actually was. At how quickly it could’ve all ended for me. “Gnarly scene. Not the worst I’ve seen though.” I’ve half a mind of asking what worse things he could’ve seen, but I was just too drained to. “And then I saw one of the coins. Truth be told? I was just gonna take one for myself, leave and just act like none of that ever happened, because it might as well, to me. But then I bump into you, and, well… what can I say? I’m a man of whims.”

He stops. There’s nothing else to say for him. He looks at me with… nothing. There’s nothing again. Only me clutching the coin and feeling like I might collapse at any moment. I manage to step back and fall back on my bed, head in my hands. Then I whip it back up, looking at him. I’m pleading. “Please. Don’t say it to-”

“I already said I won’t,” he interrupts me with an annoyed tone. “I’m not a snitch. Just someone who’s too curious for his own good.” He stays still a couple more moments, and then he sighs. “... and also someone who just can’t resist your stupid puppy eyes, I guess.” I blink, something I feel like now I’m only doing whenever he surprises me, which is thankfully very often. He casually strolls to my bed and sits down next to me. “... I’ve got a gist of how things are between you and that guy. The sheriff. William… whatever his last name is.” I tense up a bit at the word ‘between’. Eli shakes his head, feeling my reaction. “I haven’t pried much. But I do know you’re close.” He looks at me, leaning back on his hands, arms fanned out behind him. “He would help you. If you tell him the whole truth.” He looks away, upwards, towards the ceiling. “The scene is mostly intact. There’s that weird sack of rocks too. I think it’s important? I don’t really know. But it’s all there, minus the body.” He scoffs again, muttering a quick ‘duh’ to himself, and then stays still, looking down at the floor. I find myself mimicking him, and for a while we stay like that in silence.

It’s strangely comforting. No confession needed. No need to build up the courage. He just knew. And he wasn’t going to ruin my life over it. And instead… gives me advice too. Probably pathetic, but a whore should get what they can get.

“You’ll be fine,” he suddenly says. There’s more, so I hold judgement for a second. “I’ve got a gut feeling that you will, for sure. But you should probably choose fast. You’ve already gone and hid it for far too long, I reckon.” 

There’s more silence between us, because I simply don’t know what to answer. What do I say? You’re right, I should definitely turn myself in? You’re right, the law’s the law? You’re right, I should give my life in William’s hands like it’s not even that important? Too many things to think about to give an answer in such a short time. And he notices that, because I hear him sigh again, defeated. “... I really shouldn’t say this, but, if you really need something to fall on, I can… dunno. Be a witness.” That breaks me out of thinking, and I just look at him with stupid wide eyes. He cringes at that. “God, stop looking like that. You’re like ten times my size.” He sighs again while I look away, sheepishly. “Just… I heard your talk. Before he dragged you into the mine. Clearly, if things degenerated that fast… well, he must’ve been full of shit.”

He doesn’t know half of it.

“... you’re not just gonna bail on me at the last moment if I accept this offer, aren’t you?” I glance to the side, not really having the courage to look him in the eyes. He’s right. I’m twice his size. And I’m here, pathetic and basically crawling at his feet. Wiping at the ground for whatever scrap he throws at me.

His silence gives me confirmation enough. That, and the insulted glare I feel on me. Maybe he’s not that hard to read after all… it’s simply that his emotions are more unpredictable than most. Unstable… no. Cryptic, maybe. That’s how it would be if you tried understanding God after all. “Then… please. Help me.” It feels so foreign, saying those two words. Like this, in a hushed but desperate whisper to a person I’ve only met today, and yet someone that I know already knows me more than I know myself… like that makes any sense. But then again, Eli doesn’t make sense either. “... Yeah okay.” It’s so nonchalant. I can’t get used to it, that and what he says next. “Could be fun. Like a mystery novel of sorts.”

“... Wish you’d stop treatin this as if it’s nothin’, it’s-”

“Yeah, I know, it’s your life, yadda yadda, and I’ve already told you this is actually nothing to me. Could walk out any second.” He gives me a chastising side-eye. “So unless you don’t want my help, just shut up and get used to me already.”

I can’t catch up to him, he’s just damn too fast. Reads me like a book and knows what I’m gonna say, sometimes before even I have an idea of what to say. Either way, I can’t give an answer to that, so I just go back to staring at the floor. But leaving it at that… feels wrong. I muster up some more willpower. “... thank you.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see his own widening. I must’ve caught him by surprise, which gives me a tinge of satisfaction, even if it doesn’t last.

“Tch. You need to stop looking so adorable. Keep it up and I’ll have to spend some money on you, and I honestly don’t even know if I can afford it.”

“You don’t strike me as one with enough money to throw around for a whore.”

“Eh. I manage, in some ways.”

“How the Hell would you manage?”

“Hey, don’t get on my case like this. I’ve already had enough of trying to shake off William all the time.

This time I’m the one who’s got their eyes wide. “Wait, you actually know William?” I realize how he might respond to such a question. I really am getting used to him. “I mean, more… personally.” Eli just drops his head to the side, looking upwards and clearly thinking. “You could say that, I guess. Hasn’t been anything more than me getting into trouble and sticking around long enough for him to pop up and clean everything up. May have gotten a harsh word or two.” He smirks again at the thought. “In from one ear, and out of the other.”

“So you’re saying I’ve got to trust a troublemaker with my life. Lovely.” I realize a bit too late that I might’ve forgotten to put enough sarcasm in what I just said for it to not be mistaken as a genuine thought. I am the last person who should call out others for getting in petty trouble, after all. Especially as of recently. Eli seems to clearly take some degree of offense at those words, his eyes narrowed. “Do I gotta repeat what this troublemaker could do at any moment?”

I raise my paws in surrender. I think making Eli angrier is the last thing I want right now. “No, no… ‘m sorry, uh, meant it as a light joke.”

“Joke better next time.” The sudden venom in his voice is jarring, and the ‘tsk’ that follows as he rolls his eyes stings. Not only this little guy is a walking feeling of whiplash, but he also knows how to suddenly hit your guts when it counts… not literally, at least. Then he raises his gaze back on me, and he’s back to being unreadable. His change of attitudes are different from the fox, Murdoch… even if they shouldn’t be, there’s a distinct detachment to every act he makes, every word he utters, every movement and expression. He’s a God, come down to this mortal plane to better fuck with me, because doing it from wherever He was leisurely sitting wasn’t enough, and has to do it personally. The more time I spend with him, the more I start to reconsider whether whatever I felt back there in the mines, which could very well be in this town too, for all I know, is even anything to worry about compared to the sheer chaos that this cat seems to subtly bring about. 

“If you’re done staring, shall we get going?” He brings me back out of my little world of pondering abruptly. He seems impatient. “I haven’t got all day. Not like I have much to do, but understand that the last thing I want is have a prolonged meeting with the sheriff. The sooner we get it over with, the happier I’ll be, honestly.”

I immediately rise up. Even though I already took notice of it a few times already, the vast difference in our size still makes me feel strange. Especially since I pretty much have to be commandeered by this nasty little man, at least as long as I’m not in the clear. Whenever that’ll be. I gulp, and it hurts. My throat is dry as Hell, and it might just become drier in the next hours. I look down at Eli, who’s still waiting.

“... Let’s go, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, we're here. I will be honest and straightforward with anyone who apparently wanted to read enough to get here: this is pure self-indulgence. This is me wanting more but not being able to get it 'cause I gotta wait, so in the meantime I'm making my own meal and feeding myself. Characters will be OOC. Whatever thematic the authors chose for each route is going out the window and I'm making my OWN thematic for this route. Samuel and my character are going to be unashamedly gay down the line. And there is nothing anyone can do to stop me because God fucking dammit I want more of this visual novel and in one way or another I'll get what I want.
> 
> Frankly, I don't even know if I'll even continue this, but with how much thought I've given to this character and his interactions with the cast, it would be a waste to not try, at least. So regardless of whether or not there'll be more, enjoy this... 4859-words first chapter of me not-so-subtly wishing Samuel was a dateable character instead of the protagonist.


End file.
